I’m fourteen years old, my Grans mate clocked me drinking beer in the park below the pit heap, she say’s if you’re going to go drinking , you do it in the pubs. So, off to the constitutional club I go for snowballs with me Granda. To the Catholic club I go with My uncle Ken where people buy me brandy, to the Top House with my Uncle Brian.
The Top House is global instituion, its a shit hole and back in the day frequented by East Durham MCC, which played host the the annual ‘shit house door rally’ festival on land owned by the local butcher just outback.
Know one’s care’s I’m underage, but if anyone put a hand on me…
One night I stroll in by myself , all short black shirt and white blouse, order half a cider and I hear this opening bass. I’m immediately obsessed with the harshness of it, because I recognize it. Stock , Aiken and Waterman ruled the airwaves but some how , Metallic found a way.
1993; I’m doing a bullshit sports and recreation course at college, I was good at sport but found myself in a class of people I didn’t understand (story of my life). I go to the canteen and see the coolest looking people, goths, indie kids all crouched together on a couch debating something. A vending machine is close by them so I make out I’m hankering for scampi fries and listen in. They argue about the lyrics , I know the lyrics because Virgin radio just launched and played the entirety of ‘Automatic for the people’, they look like folk who wouldn’t mind a smart arse. They didn’t.
2000. I’ve seen the millennium in, kicked my drunken uncles out of me Gran’s house , because I’m 5’6 and tower over everyone. I wearing a nice dress and heels, played up to the camera.Two days earlier I was at the Top House, my ex has hooked up already, I do the whole ‘I’m infuriated shit’ in the bogs with with the woman in question, but then I realise , I’m not the loser here, I didn’t want any of this, you have it.
I look round, nothing is familiar to me, what the actual fuck is going on?4th of July came on. The familiar dark bass , I know dark bass, I know fancy words and somehow I know. different .
Hush little baby don’t say a word
Coming in to wake her up
Once asleep but now I stand